I wanted to be creative today, so i started writing this entry backwards. The lined couple paragraphs are actually a comment i left on Amber's xanga. This means that the first thing i put in here is actually the last thing i was thinking of. This is my ode to momento. Yes this is how i waste my time. You know what, i don't even consider it a waste of time. What the hell else could i be doing in the twenty minutes it takes to make this entry? Nothing. Zip. Nada. I'm not gonna go save the world right now. I wanted to sit here and make this xanga entry.

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lol i know exactly how u feel. You know for a fact that i love material possessions, but i also don't care about them  I love this world, but i also know that its temporary and i'm just living in it to live it. This world is a prison, and i'm just doing my time. Yet at other times i feel as though i should do as muchh as possible. I read as many books as i can, try to gain as much knowledge as i can about whatever i can, and tryyy to get some semblence of a life and career going. But i love college too damn much to just start working 24/7. There you have it. I, Ali Abidi, am an enigma. I hate how people analyze things too deeply and try to find multiple meanings to life. Man you're gonna die when you're 80, so stop being so conflicted all of the time. By the way amber, that was not directed towards you lol. All i'm saying is that some people care too deeply, or they try to find too many answers. I mean it is nice to know about existential angst and that space is primarily dark matter, but don't kill yourself over trying to find every answer. I just have fun connecting the dots.

P.S. - I also hate people who try to be intellectual for the sake of sounding smart. I read entries like that alllll the time. People throw every smart thought that they have on their xangas. They're so longwinded and useless...it's like dude, no one gives a shit.  Seriously amber nonneeee of this is towards you. It's just that i've been reading a lot of things from a lot of people and all i've gotten out of it is stuff i already know. Except your brother...i like his entries.

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Oh yeah...i remember what i wanted to really talk about now. No nevermind; it just slipped away. Oh well...another thing that was on my mind was how people love others who never flinch or falter; who go in one straight path in a blaze of glory. They never back down and do what they believe is right! Well my friends...those people are f$%#ing retarded. Would you like to know why? I don't know why i ask...because i'm going to tell you all anyway. Those people...such as our president believe that if you change your mind or flip flop, then you are indecisive. Thaaaat may not be the case. The future changes all the time, and as the cliche goes "the only thing certain is uncertainty". If you change your mind, then you are adapting to the current situation, which means that you are using your intelligence to minipulate your actions to whats going on around you. If you go in one path all the time, then you miss out on opportunities that could be useful that are on another path. Also you look very hard headed and no one will like you. Therefore...to survive you must adapt. Well of course there are things you can never compromise on or adapt to, but i'm speaking generally. You may argue that you should never falter...is it really faltering, or a strategic maneuver? We've all heard about how british troops would file up in neat little rows and get mowed down by the colonists and native americans who were fighting in more of a guerilla style of combat. This is a good example of what happens when you can't adapt to different situations. You may say "balderdash, ali! You don't know what you're talking about!" I say...maybe you're too stupid to know how to adapt, kind of like rich people who believe that poor people are just lazy and can easily get out of those situations. Man you or I wouldn't survive for a minute out in a third world country. How about you call them lazy when they have an AK to your head...that they built from scratch? Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Man i always see those salvation army folks jingling away with their bells asking passersby to donate some money. I always give change or a couple bills if  i have any, but man...Ali needs some money too! Sheeeet...i could use a dolla. All i want for christmas is my credit card bill paid. I should start competing with them for change. When they go on their breaks or look away for a second, then you bet your fantasy football pick i'll nab some cash. I'd be worse than the grinch...atleast he stole christmas presents...i'm stealing hopes and dreams! OH wow...the the paragraph before this started the same way as well.

Man i always have potential xanga entries in my head, but i fail to write them down somewhere. That's the only way i'll remember everything that i want to talk about. Well one thing i wanted to discuss was how i raped the roads of NY when i went there this past weekend for a wedding. I've finally found where i get my driving from. Everyone in this city drove like me. I cut off so many people...i felt so proud. However...people need to realize that driving is an ART. You don't just needless and recklessly cut someone off. UGh. I see such disgusting ways to pass people. I feel so french (snobby) right now. You should pass people in a way that doesn't make them touch their brakes. You should pass in a certain motion also. It should look cool or refined...not careless and sloppy. I don't agree with speed limits either, and i believe that they are just a suggestion lol.

Well! Aren't you special! You're getting a xanga entry from me oh so soon.

Nooooo! my chatterbox left me! Man this is what i get for not updating. The thing is..i had nothin to really update everyone with. Well i suppose in retrospect i had a lot to say, but didn't feel like saying it? Now that i look back...i've come a long way. For one thing, i'm definitely more sure of myself now than i've ever been. I've realized that all of my "shortcomings" weren't real...they were just excuses that i made up. I mean I can do anything i put my mind to, and that i put work into. Anyone can become anything. My math teacher said it best...he said that if he had enough time, he'd go back to school and become a nuclear physicist. He said that it was all about applying yourself, and giving yourself the proper motivation. You are your own worst enemy. If you don't believe that you can do something...then you need to realize that this criticism is unfounded...unless you're parapalegic and you want to play soccer...then i'm terribly sorry and there's always basketball. I've got a way to work this out.

  Man, so many things have been happening recently. So many new revelations come into play. I mean some things i would've never imagine happening have happened. So many bomb shells have been dropped, and life keeps throwing surprises my way, but i love 'em. I've been reevaluating a lot of things, changing my perspective on other things, and getting my priorities straight. This has changed me noticeably, and i think a lot of people have been noticing.  One bad thing is that i've been avoiding the masjid lately, but thats primarily due to the part about my perspective on things (relax), and partly due to the fact that i keep taking freakin naps on fridays. I can't help it! My fridays are so damn busy, that by the time i get home, i die on my bed.

  When i was younger...i was never given any real direction in life. Now that i want to do dentistry...everyone's been pushing me on and urging me to do it. More importantly, my dad told me that this was the right thing to do, and those few words gave me an immeasurable boost. Like i said earlier...i was never given any real direction, so i never knew what to do. I would just float around through life. I always figured that i could never amount to anything just because it didn't seem like my destiny. Therefore, i always aimed for an average lot in life, but not anymore. I believe i can do anything i put my mind to. I will not be a slave to work...I will enjoy my life. I'm gonna try to lead by example. Give me the strength to do this. I know it's most likely in me...sometimes my problem is... do i really want to do this? I mean I won't kid myself anymore. It's not a matter of me not being able to do anything, but really of me wanting to do something with myself. I want to have pride in myself, and i want others to be proud of me. Yeah this is a weird entry, but man this Yellowcard song i've been listening to called "lights and sounds" helped me out for some reason in writing this. That's enough inane babble today...all i really want to do is help people and give them some hope through this. If i give you hope, then i've done my job.

….ok ok so my xanga entry was a bit too serious this time around. Well I do owe a shoutout to SABAH!! Aka loveangel786 check out her xanga!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it...Anu is intellectual.

Great Book. Man i'm sure no one was expecting a xanga update this soon. Well my weekend was too action packed to leave it out of my xanga, so i shall bless u all with another entry. Ok so this saturday, i go to the gym again after what seems like forever. Then on sunday, i play football with all the masjid guys and i'm doing soo welllll, and then i run into someone and chip off half my fingernail. YEAH. Something always seems to happen when i play. Well then a bunch of us decided to go eat, but first i had to go get gas. So i'm on my way to gas up, and this cop thinking she's a hero jumps in the middle of the road and pulls me over. I JUST went to court like a month or two ago! When i went to delaware this weekend...i drove like 90+ mph, and weaved through traffic to and from, and nothing happened to me! I wanted to hate this cop, i really did, but he was so nice. He explained what i could do to fight the ticket, he gave me an excuse for speeding, and he told me that he'd be there for a month, so i should watch out. Dude. I love this man. I'm gonna go find him on the road and shake his hand. So now i have a citation, i'm sore as hell, and i need to study soon.

Well in keeping with my tradition of giving shoutouts on my xanga...I shall give one to Fara Ajani. Miss Ajani has accomplished much in her life...i won't mention what because of course i dunno if she'd want me to tell everyone about her life, and everyone loves a mystery.

If anyone would like a shoutout, just let me know and i will make it happen on my next post.

Until next time,

Abidi...Ali Abidi

*Edit*

Ok ok amber shah threatened to sit on me if i didn't take that blogspot comment back soo...blog spot is ok but amber is still emo.

*Edit*

Guess who's back, back again, ali's back, tell a friend, guess who's back guess who's back guess who's back nana na na na na...

Anyways...I know i always say that i will update, but i never do. This this its a serious update, and i want all of you xanga deserters to come back. Blogspot is for depressed lil emo kids such as amber shah. This is an outrage, and i will not stand for it!

So i just got back from a wilddd football game. I haven't had this much fun in a long time. It was alot of the guys from the masjid playing. Well i kind of got sick...i didn't throw up, which was a good thing. Then right after that, i got hit in my mouth and it started bleeding, so all i do is go grab a napkin and keep playing lol. Yesss i'm hyping myself up...so sue me.

Since this wasn't much of an update...i'll add this: I'm stronger than i used to be, but i'm weaker than i should be. I'm making progress! Take that however you'd like...i'm sure it can apply to everyone.

So i owe a shoutout to a certain special Toolie. HI TOOLIE! She gets to be the very last topic that i mention.

Currently Listening Best of You By Foo Fighters see related

I must admit, things are going quitee well for me right now. Well the only thing i really care about is school, so i should say that school is going well for me right now. I haven't been calling as many people as i used to, and this is a bad thing. To those who i promised to call...i shall keep my word. I also promise an invigorating conversation. I've also realized that i'm an online community hooker. I'm on xanga, friendster, naseeb, and myspace. Man i'm clingier than a fat kid eating smores.

Suki is wonderful.

So i've been thinking...what if i die tomorrow? What would i really want to do before i go? One thing is to go on a high speed chase, and beat the cops. I'd freakin train for that if i could. I get tired of how everyone perceives muslims as fascists. Man i will date your daughter and run donuts around your cop car. I expect to see this phrase on the little scrolling marquee on fox news and cnn. Ok ok so let me edit what i just said. I don't want to die after i do this, i wanna live to see the damage i cause lol. So what if people think this isn't a good representation of our religion? It's better than people blowing shit up. I always do random and crazy things, but no one sees! lol. Well it won't change all the bigots in the world, but it would show more accuracy than i see these days. Yeah i changed topics again, but you always deaaaal with it. It's mainly older people who have this staunch and incorrect view of muslims, because they're stuck in their opinions. Oh well, i guess all i can do to contribute at the moment is walk around in my fcuk shirt and ipod while speaking in urdu. Yea i've been speaking urdu in public more often. I'm not afraid of my culture. Punjabi sounds like curse words.

One thing i don't understand is why girls attempt to use the word for female dog to refer to their friends. I understand all of this empowerment stuff, but the word was most likely invented by a guy. The world tends to give a negative connotation to anything it doesn't like. Now i don't really care what you think, so i'll tell you what i think: Ever wonder why guys sleeping around are called pimps, and girls sleeping around are called hussies (and worse)? I mean girls you really need to stand up for yourselves more. Some girls do a good job at it, but some are just push overs. Yeah i'm being a jerk by calling them that, but hopefully some girl gets mad enough to do something about it besides crying, throwing in love/actually into the dvd player, and eating double chocolate icecream.

Sehar is amazing. If there's one person i seriously never have to worry about, it's her. In  rare moment of gayness, i told her that if i ever had twins, i'd name them dolce and gabbana.

Well this can also be applied to anything else, such as how pagans are associated with witchcraft (and witchcraft isn't devil worship anyways). Point being, the only "correct" parts of culture seem to be male and organized religion. Now i won't go into depth about this, but anything else seems to be quashed with extreme prejudice. People kill in the name of different beliefs and mantras. Sometimes i wish the same upon them, but i realize that violence wouldnt solve anything. too bad that i'm more malcolm X than ghandi. If other people can so brazenly stand up for their beliefs, then why can't i stand up for mine? Some people think that what they do is right. Some people forget to realize that there are reactions for everything they do. If you jump, you'll come back down. Some people think that there are no consequences for their actions. So i'd like to say that i'll be the yin to your yang, i'll be the backdraft to your fire, i'll be the punishment to your sin. Yea lol i get a little angry sometimes. It's ok though, we all do. But it's not about what you think.

So to add balance again to this entry...

Your skin

Oh yeah, your skin and bones,

Turn into something beautiful,

You know, you know I love you so,

You know I love you so.